This term has been hectic and these weeks even worse. Full of busy days and lots of confusion.
Lately I feel so stretched out. Imagine a fruit-rollup that's been pulled at every corner just before the hole starts ripping in the middle. That's me. Like a trampoline that's just about to give out. I've grown up into this super responsible person that too many depend on that. At work I find myself doing responsibilities that aren't entailed. At school I'm always depended upon as a leader-type unless there is a strong character willing (there never is). With friends, I arrange the group outings and times together. But it's not fun anymore.
The problem with this is if I give up I feel like a slacker and everything seems to fall through the cracks. Work would be ten times more stress, school projects would never get done, and I'd lose out on great friendships.
There's no win-win here. Maybe someday. I hope.
The End.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Thursday, November 27
Tuesday, November 25
28
I'm shivering. It's cold in the house. I should really have some tea or something. I need the caffiene anyway. The whole day was full of stress and arguements.
Group assignments in University are a joke. How can you say 'this is like the REAL world' when in the real world school and work aren't in the way of group meetings?... it is your work! There's no time for anything. We fudge time by skipping the ends of something and arriving late to others. We collect our thoughts in confusion and aggrivation. We ignore our stomachs just to not waste the time consuming anything but knowledge.
I sit here in this cold house as a habit from these learned abilities. Ignore yourself. Ignore the time. Focus.
But it's time to listen and feed myself in warmth and nutrition. The life of a University student.
The End.
Group assignments in University are a joke. How can you say 'this is like the REAL world' when in the real world school and work aren't in the way of group meetings?... it is your work! There's no time for anything. We fudge time by skipping the ends of something and arriving late to others. We collect our thoughts in confusion and aggrivation. We ignore our stomachs just to not waste the time consuming anything but knowledge.
I sit here in this cold house as a habit from these learned abilities. Ignore yourself. Ignore the time. Focus.
But it's time to listen and feed myself in warmth and nutrition. The life of a University student.
The End.
Monday, November 24
27
I'm wearing myself out. So tired yet still refusing to sleep. It's like I'm waiting for something to happen. Is there something I should be doing that only my subconcious knows? Cuz I'm here and I can barely react or see anything but I'm keeping myself up and alive. This can't be good. I want to rest forever. I'm stressed and running off nothing. I have assignments that seem to getting bigger than smaller every minute and the opposite for the allotted time leftover. I think I'll try forcing sleep since I'm not physically willing to go. I will move myself outta this chair with the sheer force of my mind and have a dreamless slumber for the short hours that are left in this evening.
The End.
The End.
Friday, November 21
24
It's been a long time. A really long time. It feels like a whole life could fit in the gap from then and now but things don't change much.
I'm still dealing with even more in my life. The bricks keep getting laid, but they're crooked and jagged and waiting to topple. I keep picking them up just before, but I know they'll fall soon.
The pressure is getting to me. School, work, family, friends, life. The only constant I have is my music. It keeps piling up too. Album upon album of comforting melodies. Some comfort in ways that depress while others hold as a great morning pick-me-up.
I missed my writing, I hope to keep it going again as another constant in my life. We shall see what happens.
The End.
I'm still dealing with even more in my life. The bricks keep getting laid, but they're crooked and jagged and waiting to topple. I keep picking them up just before, but I know they'll fall soon.
The pressure is getting to me. School, work, family, friends, life. The only constant I have is my music. It keeps piling up too. Album upon album of comforting melodies. Some comfort in ways that depress while others hold as a great morning pick-me-up.
I missed my writing, I hope to keep it going again as another constant in my life. We shall see what happens.
The End.
Sunday, June 8
18
I've been home for a while now and it's funny how little has happened. It's nice not having the rush back into things but I feel it coming. Interviews and acceptance. Things are changing and the summer will soon pick up. I'm excited for the change. Hopefully it will help brighten up this mood I fall back to way too often. Summer seems to be a time of change and adaption, sometimes more than Fall. Hope I can find my new self in all this change. That's all I want.
The End.
The End.
Friday, May 2
10
I'm in the double digits of my posts. I know it's not much but frequent stories get harder to do. Hopefully I'll be making the triples in a few months time.
With that said, it brings my back to grade 2 when as a class we counted to 100. It was a big deal because in the end we got a big party to celebrate. There were coloured popsicle sticks that got grouped into tens, and I remember thinking it took forever to get to 100 days. If you think about it, 100 days is pretty long. That's over a quarter of a year. When it comes to television, 100 episodes takes about 5 seasons to reach that mark. 100 cd's in a collection costs well over 1500 dollars. (And I have MANY albums in my collection.) So we'll see. If I reach 100, I'll celebrate with a new look, one that's a little less generica for the Blogger page. But til then, a lot can happen.
Things to happen lately:
- Class marks are coming up. Not too excited to find that out.
- I have a trip coming up so I should really start sorting through my wardrobe to pick and choose.
- Canada has become cold and wet. It finally looks like spring, and the birds won't stop singing. Seriously, listen tonight and you'll probably still here a bird chirpping.
- I'm running so low on money and still have yet to find a job.
The End.
With that said, it brings my back to grade 2 when as a class we counted to 100. It was a big deal because in the end we got a big party to celebrate. There were coloured popsicle sticks that got grouped into tens, and I remember thinking it took forever to get to 100 days. If you think about it, 100 days is pretty long. That's over a quarter of a year. When it comes to television, 100 episodes takes about 5 seasons to reach that mark. 100 cd's in a collection costs well over 1500 dollars. (And I have MANY albums in my collection.) So we'll see. If I reach 100, I'll celebrate with a new look, one that's a little less generica for the Blogger page. But til then, a lot can happen.
Things to happen lately:
- Class marks are coming up. Not too excited to find that out.
- I have a trip coming up so I should really start sorting through my wardrobe to pick and choose.
- Canada has become cold and wet. It finally looks like spring, and the birds won't stop singing. Seriously, listen tonight and you'll probably still here a bird chirpping.
- I'm running so low on money and still have yet to find a job.
The End.
Monday, April 7
5
where to start? where oh where?
as promised. a few swirling bad memories are to be revealed starting with this:
A few years back now I was working at a small boutique by the water. This was somewhere around the 12th grade, I think. Being a small store, there were many shifts spent working alone and many shifts that I wouldn't want to remember. A homeless man would pop in and out of the stores in the neighbourhood and on occasions I heard stories of him stealing the honey bottles from the coffee shop down the block. The being close to the water, the buildings are smaller and the sun glared in brightly enough to light up the shop. I remember times where large trucks would pass by and stop for the stop sign. For the seconds where your eyes start to adjust the whole place could go black and then flicker back in the sunlight again. Great place to work and it definitely got more than three strikes before I was out. One strike though, I hope never happens again.
Due to many hours of repeats of 'Sex and the City' I came across an episode in which Carrie was dumped by a post it, and since then, my worst breakup comes to mind.
I was working a shift, alone, with the promise of my boyfriend visiting and rescueing me away for a date later that night. In short, he came in while I was tied up with a few things, said a quick "hi" and went for a walk in the neighbourhood. To my surprise, he was a few hours late and in a low mood. A while later, free of duties until another customer showed their face, he came back. With a hug, and a rather strange kiss on the forehead, it was over. No real reason (but there never is, is there?), leaving me with 4 more hours of my shift ahead of me to work through the shock of it all. While this was not a post it, at least Carrie had a lonesome time to deal with the aftermath. I, on the other hand, had jewelery and hairpieces to sell.
So there you go. One incedent I hope does not repeat itself. For you, and for me.
The end.
as promised. a few swirling bad memories are to be revealed starting with this:
A few years back now I was working at a small boutique by the water. This was somewhere around the 12th grade, I think. Being a small store, there were many shifts spent working alone and many shifts that I wouldn't want to remember. A homeless man would pop in and out of the stores in the neighbourhood and on occasions I heard stories of him stealing the honey bottles from the coffee shop down the block. The being close to the water, the buildings are smaller and the sun glared in brightly enough to light up the shop. I remember times where large trucks would pass by and stop for the stop sign. For the seconds where your eyes start to adjust the whole place could go black and then flicker back in the sunlight again. Great place to work and it definitely got more than three strikes before I was out. One strike though, I hope never happens again.
Due to many hours of repeats of 'Sex and the City' I came across an episode in which Carrie was dumped by a post it, and since then, my worst breakup comes to mind.
I was working a shift, alone, with the promise of my boyfriend visiting and rescueing me away for a date later that night. In short, he came in while I was tied up with a few things, said a quick "hi" and went for a walk in the neighbourhood. To my surprise, he was a few hours late and in a low mood. A while later, free of duties until another customer showed their face, he came back. With a hug, and a rather strange kiss on the forehead, it was over. No real reason (but there never is, is there?), leaving me with 4 more hours of my shift ahead of me to work through the shock of it all. While this was not a post it, at least Carrie had a lonesome time to deal with the aftermath. I, on the other hand, had jewelery and hairpieces to sell.
So there you go. One incedent I hope does not repeat itself. For you, and for me.
The end.
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