50

The Holidays were dull and now I'm back into the swing of school. Overwhelmed with the idea of buying textbooks and annoyed at the stores for only having two copies of a book that 40 people need. Why they would do that? I don't know.
It's been a dull few weeks full of strange weather and little drama. It was a nice relief but at the same time, I know it's not done and I'm still waiting for it. I miss the old traditions of family events that seem to disappear every year. This year was different with an entire family member gone. I miss him but still felt him there the entire time. Creepy? maybe. Sad? yes.
We shall see what these beginning weeks bring as I know they will pass by quickly.

The End.

46

It's the holidays. A time to be happy. I'm trying, I really am. Smile on my face. But if you knew me well, you'd know what's behind that smile. But I'm not here to complain. I'm here to add to my favourite Holiday traditions.
The decorations! But not the tacky outside ones that clash with the beauty of the white glistening layer of snow. I'm talking about the home-y indoor decorations of a tree and ornaments. The garlands on the stairs. The lights around the tree that light up like circling fireflies in the night. The glow of a town of ceramic houses in a town everyone wishes to be in. Covered in cotton snow, with clay people riding in sleighs and heading to their perfect homes in their winter attire.
I love the tradition on the look of winter and Christmas. Everything looks so comforting and warm. The dullest house becomes something new with a few ornaments and tree giving us something to look and dream upon. We dream about the newest year to come and the fantasies of what that could bring. A time of hope and wishing brought on by a few festive traditional elements.

The End.

26

I need an escape of some sort. A trip. A few days to myself. A day with no annoyances or obligations. A time where I can relax and rid myself of everything. A day to breakdown and recover. A day to be myself with no masks or characters to play. A time to change the atmosphere around me.
I need it but can't have it.
There is no time. This structure of numers and days has destroyed us all as we race around trying to accomplish too much in the full circle of a clock.
I'm worn out and this remains hidden to allude that I'm alright. I hope I find a gap in this structured schedule of time soon.
The End.

25

Lack of sleep and focused concentration have revealed interesting moments. I've seen things at the corner of my eye that turn out to be nothing. I've consumed many cups of caffiene to keep my zombie-like body going. I've ran around in circles of adrenaline rushes just to keep myself moving expecting to crash any minute. I didn't crash. I haven't crashed. I'm still alive and awake and coherent. How is this possible? I don't know. My batteries have barely had a quick-charge and yet they're still going like I'm the bunny. I hope all this changes soon. It can't be good. I can't afford a complete burnout.

The End.

24

It's been a long time. A really long time. It feels like a whole life could fit in the gap from then and now but things don't change much.
I'm still dealing with even more in my life. The bricks keep getting laid, but they're crooked and jagged and waiting to topple. I keep picking them up just before, but I know they'll fall soon.
The pressure is getting to me. School, work, family, friends, life. The only constant I have is my music. It keeps piling up too. Album upon album of comforting melodies. Some comfort in ways that depress while others hold as a great morning pick-me-up.
I missed my writing, I hope to keep it going again as another constant in my life. We shall see what happens.

The End.

18

I've been home for a while now and it's funny how little has happened. It's nice not having the rush back into things but I feel it coming. Interviews and acceptance. Things are changing and the summer will soon pick up. I'm excited for the change. Hopefully it will help brighten up this mood I fall back to way too often. Summer seems to be a time of change and adaption, sometimes more than Fall. Hope I can find my new self in all this change. That's all I want.
The End.

16

Leaving for some time is such a romantic idea. Not that it's covered in roses and soft music under the moonlight. It's because it's a way escape, leave all that is pressuring, and pretend to forget about all that has quickly vanished due to the vast distance between you and those problems. It is romantic for that fact that it can only be obtained for limited periods of time and it is a beautiful but unrealistic time.

I leave for vacation. Spend my days wandering to new places where other just like me are doing the same. I was able to discover new and glorious adventures. I was able to be myself with the fact that no one there knew me. I had no obligations and escaped the clouds that normally cover my mind.

I get home. Slowly but surely those clouds are getting darker over my head. Makes you wonder if the escape was ever worth it doesn't it? I had my breathe of clear fresh air and I'm back to where I was pre-trip. I just hope I can hold my breathe a little longer and keep some of that good air with me. Is it strange to have the hope that it did me well and things will now change? I think so, but I'm holding onto that hope anyway.

The End.