50

The Holidays were dull and now I'm back into the swing of school. Overwhelmed with the idea of buying textbooks and annoyed at the stores for only having two copies of a book that 40 people need. Why they would do that? I don't know.
It's been a dull few weeks full of strange weather and little drama. It was a nice relief but at the same time, I know it's not done and I'm still waiting for it. I miss the old traditions of family events that seem to disappear every year. This year was different with an entire family member gone. I miss him but still felt him there the entire time. Creepy? maybe. Sad? yes.
We shall see what these beginning weeks bring as I know they will pass by quickly.

The End.

39

The food and drinks. Nights of warm, milky hot chocolate. Dinners of Turkey, stuffing, and sweet potatoes. Desserts of Christmas pudding with rum icing. The memories of tastes so distinct, if something changes, you notice. There's always those few classic nights and meals that are so traditional, nothing is real until you have it. That's the way it is with my Christmas. A traditional once had, of Christmas Eve at the Grandparents has changed dates in the past few years. It's a tradition that I love and miss every year on that day. However, it comes in delay and so does Christmas also. It's not officially that time of year until this memorable meal and I cannot wait to taste it again.
I know I don't have much of a reading base. But if you come across this page, I would love to know the one thing that makes the Holiday season real for you. Without, it isn't the same. Thanks.

The End.

24

It's been a long time. A really long time. It feels like a whole life could fit in the gap from then and now but things don't change much.
I'm still dealing with even more in my life. The bricks keep getting laid, but they're crooked and jagged and waiting to topple. I keep picking them up just before, but I know they'll fall soon.
The pressure is getting to me. School, work, family, friends, life. The only constant I have is my music. It keeps piling up too. Album upon album of comforting melodies. Some comfort in ways that depress while others hold as a great morning pick-me-up.
I missed my writing, I hope to keep it going again as another constant in my life. We shall see what happens.

The End.

21

It's a hard time here. I have bad news all around me and it's getting to me. The problem with that is that I'm so good at hiding everything that's affecting that no one knows. To some that would be perfect. To me, it makes me wonder why I do it? Why do I hide something so close to me? Another thing that gets to me, how come no one can tell? I need someone to know what I'm going through, someone that can tell straight away. I need someone I don't hesitate to speak to where it doesn't matter where or when I do it. Of course, at this moment I'm even hiding the news to a sibling or two so that they can enjoy their evening at prom. Thats however, it out of protectiong for them, not me. I don't think I need all the protecting I guard myself with, but who knows? I;ve come accustomed to my walls. Could I ever break them down?
The End.

15

Today is a lovely day. The trees are green. The dandelions are starting to blow in the perfect breeze. The sun is high in the sky. The neighbourhood is the most peaceful it's been in weeks. It's a great day, at all ends and yet it's empty. Sunday used to be a family day and now it's full of people running around doing our own things. My sibling has homework, my mother is helping as usual, my father is out and about on some new date of his. I miss the structure and regularities of being a child. Everything was exciting and new. Sundays were days I'd awake to pots and pans clanging to scramble eggs and fry up blueberry pancakes. That was at the old house. That was what seems like a lifetime ago. That is what I miss today. The old traditions. The ones you look back on and find them to be perfect. Those memories that are so vague they are now only held onto by a small graphic or sound. So little detail is left in your mind but that's what makes it perfect. Your mind wanders in and out of that thought and nothing seems to be wrong. A small memory of traditional moments that can never be repeated for what they were. I'd replace this lovely day to hear those pots and pans and taste those smells again.
The End.

13

Have you ever thought if you left everything for a week of silence from the world, from life, from friends, from family, from crisis, from the internet, from everything around you... have you ever thought you'd be missed? you'd be wanted in that time? you were needed for something only you could fix? there'd be many messages on your phone, on your web connections, in the mail?
If it was possible would you risk the thought and disappear?
Have you ever thought you'd discover something about yourself in a time such as that? you'd discover true friends? you'd discover how connected you actually were?
I don't think I could really disappear such as that. The joy I find is mostly in the interactions I have with close friends. I have thought of the idea though, and wonder. There's so many possibilities and fears that come with the thought. Somehow, the idea still plays around in my head.
The End.

6

I've been caught up with stuff lately, but not without this in the back of my mind. Horrible and memorable flashback number two:

I was about 5 years back, maybe a bit more but it still feels like it could've happened last week. Of course, all has been forgiven, but back then it was hard to deal with. My parents were having a real bad time and I remember seeing my dad come home and he would just sit infront of a movie and try to hold every emotion in. Depression hit him hard and confusion even harder. Like I said, it was a bad time.

One night we decided (me and my dad) to go to our favourite ice cream place down the road. It was a colder night so we drove. Halfway there I got this feeling in my chest like something bad was going to happen. Not even halfway there my heart was pounding and my mind was racing. This time I was the one fighting tears, but it was no use. My eyes were pouring and there was no stopping (for at least an hour). As soon as he could, my Dad pulled over on a tiny side street and we just sat there. Without any words I knew that was it for my parents. He didn't even get a chance to say it was over. Intuition beat him to it.

I don't think we ever made it for ice cream. If we did, I think it tasted as good as usual. That was a hard time for me and playing it back never helps my mind. I remember hearing people walk by that side street as we sat there in the car. I remember huddling as they finally noticed there were people in there. I remember not being able to see there faces cause of the tears in my eyes. It's probably best I didn't. I wouldn't want more to remember than that.

The end.