49

It's the end of the year and the beginning of the next. I never really understood this night. Just an excuse to get out and drink. Instead I normally get a cold and lose interest. It's now become a point that I'm not interested. A simple gathering of a few family friends, "Happy New Year", to bed. I'd rather just use the day to stay in my PJ's and watch good movies or repeats of my favourite episodes until I fall to sleep. I guess forced celebration isn't my thing. I could say I'm glad this year is almost over, but there's no promises the next one won't turn out the same.

The End.

48

It's Christmas! Well, a day past by the time I'm writing this now. Merry Christmas.
I can't really put any thoughts together since I've been running around like mad the past two days. I need to settle down to figure out these overwhelming times. Will write more when I know more. Have a good few days!

The End.

47

It's snowing. It's more than snowing. It's snowing like crazy!
It's strange to compare one year to another. Last year we didn't get lots of snow until way after Christmas and this year we're covered in it.
It's not melting. It's not icing. It's not even turning into slush since it hasn't had the chance to yet.
It's piling ontop of eachother with no place to go. Our shoveling mounds are already above reaching level and driveways are shrinking from two lanes into one.
Snow white snow, you are beautiful but a pain. If only you could stay this white and beautiful and then just disappear.
Instead we have the duty of cleaning you up after these ongoing drifts for weeks afterward.
From a few days of white wonderland to a few weeks of dirty slush water.
Lovely.

The End.

46

It's the holidays. A time to be happy. I'm trying, I really am. Smile on my face. But if you knew me well, you'd know what's behind that smile. But I'm not here to complain. I'm here to add to my favourite Holiday traditions.
The decorations! But not the tacky outside ones that clash with the beauty of the white glistening layer of snow. I'm talking about the home-y indoor decorations of a tree and ornaments. The garlands on the stairs. The lights around the tree that light up like circling fireflies in the night. The glow of a town of ceramic houses in a town everyone wishes to be in. Covered in cotton snow, with clay people riding in sleighs and heading to their perfect homes in their winter attire.
I love the tradition on the look of winter and Christmas. Everything looks so comforting and warm. The dullest house becomes something new with a few ornaments and tree giving us something to look and dream upon. We dream about the newest year to come and the fantasies of what that could bring. A time of hope and wishing brought on by a few festive traditional elements.

The End.

45

It's a strange thing. The idea of promises you make yourself. Do they really work? Unless you're totally secure and completely unwilling to ever fudge the guidelines of this promise, I say no. You can't promise yourself anything with the parameters we want. Things get in the way. Subjects change. Environments change. The whole idea is outrageous. I find myself promising that I won't look at the clock until I've finished reading this page of an assignment only to look after the next sentence. I don't know if it's just me, but I find unless there's some other motivation, I can be happy fudging my promises to something I'm still okay with. I know me and I know the practicality of me too. I'm flawed and so are the promises I make myself.
But that doesn't mean a promise to someone else will be broken.

The End.

44

I'm being ignored by a few. This whole boy and girl thing just won't let up. Why is it everyone seems to misinterpret the other completely wrong? I never asked for anything. I never expected anything. And now, so things don't get outta control I'm stuck alone. Where is the logic in that? All I want is someone to talk and hang out with and I can barely get two words. I know it's bad timing. Same here. Suck it up. Grow up. Give me the time of day.

The End.

43

I have no distractions. No school. No work. No gatherings in the way. I'm left with my thoughts and I find it's not a nice place to be. I'm going nuts in my mind and I'm not sure which way's up or down anymore. I spent a night even with the TV on cuz I was too tired to even watch something. I listened to music and slept with salted tears on my face. I couldn't breathe. There's so much I can't figure out and still so much to deal with that I can't juggle it in these moments. When I have things to do, I take a quick moment and it's done. But when there's nothing to do, that quick moment can't be cut short. It lingers, and so does the pain. I'm driving myself crazy fighting with this force inside of me. The force that just makes me want to curl up in bed forever. The force that makes me think sleep is best. The force that ends connections. I don't like it and don't want to be there. But even the busy moments I don't have only phase them out for limits of time. I need to deal. I just don't want to. So here I go, fighting.

The End.